I really need to put more thought into these titles

Sloan was fun...except for the group of 6-8 idiots behind us who a) didnt know the name of the band playing and b) spent the entire show trying to start a moshpit. I was kicked in the back of the head by some idiot trying to crowdsurf and got pushed into the people infront of me a few to many times. Fucking idiots, you're 15 years old, you DONT KNOW THE NAME OF THE BAND, why are you here. Sloan isnt a punk band, and no one who goes to one of their shows wants to mosh. If you want to act like idiots and punch/ shove the people around you, go watch one of your shitty power-chord-pounding faux-hardcore shows at the Kathedral, dont do it here.

Wow, that was kind of surprisingly angry

My brother is le sick, either a migrane, or some kind of flu, and he has an exam tommorow...and it's his birthday tommorow...lucky him.

I think I've been kind of digging myself into a rut lately. I'm frustrated by my lack of productivity, and this frustration makes me want to wallow and not do anything, so it's kinda of become cyclical. I'm hoping something will eventually come along that will snap me out of it. I'm not sure what it could be, but that's what I'm hoping for.

Vulnerable

I knew that the expression on my face could be read by someone who barely knew me. I wished that I could have controlled it, but I had come to accept it long ago as involuntary, and beyond my control. My face displayed a blankness, an absence of emotion, yet somehow underscored by a deep seeded pain. I knew that trying to regain my facial composure was useless, and the best I could do was to hide my momentary lapse by looking away.

There is no one to blame but myself, and I can't help but feel that not even I am fully responsible for this. I never asked for my heart to be worn on my sleeve, and it can be both a blessing and a curse.

Am I growing up?

Seriously,

Today, I actually said "No, I cant go out drinking, I have too much work to do, and if I dont use tonight to do it, it'll bite me in the ass next week." What the hell? I'm not supposed to be responsible enough to say that, I'm only 19....

Guh, existential crisis here I come lol

Lyric Thing

Everyone Else Is Doing It, So Here's My Spin: IPod Set To Shuffle, and I'll use the first lines of the songs that play, as long as it doesn't make the answer glaringly obvious.

1) Someone somewhere has unglued our epoxy,
And now I'm kissing you by proxy,
hope you dont mind.

2) This is a broadcast from the universe
Supersonic bond, metaphor, megahertz
I'm on a mission with the mic in the holster
Spread the love from coast to coast hear the dope for editing

3) Animation
Breathes a cloudless mind
Fascination
Leaves the doubting blind
Until the circle breaks and wisdom lies ahead
The faithful live awake
The rest remain misled

4) Oh what's wrong with me
Said oh what's wrong with me
I know what I don't want to be
A dead end on the family tree

5) How many times have you been pushed around?
Was anybody there?
Does anybody care?

6)Christ I’m a sidewinder I’m a
California King
I swear it’s everywhere
It’s everything

7) Summer stretching on the grass
Summer dresses pass
In the shade of a willow tree
Creeps a crawling over me

8) The wretched desert takes its form, the jackal proud and tight
In search of you, I feel my way, though the slowest heaving night

9) Caught in quicksand
Starting to sink
So tired of struggling
That my mind can barely think

10) Protest Song
Everybody sang along
Now they pan and scan
And edit out the everyman

I haven't done that in a long time

I went the entire day without eating meat. I haven't done that in a while. However, I feel strangely filled, and not as "heavy" as I normally do. Maybe I'll do it more often.

Save me from my villanous imagination

I got my first good night's rest in a week, and it was drug induced (just tylenol for cold PM, but druggy nonetheless), is that bad?

CSI is much more entertaining sans the commericals. I guess I'm going to buy season 5 next. (I will have either a CSI or Corner Gas watching party sometime, and I will con all you non TV watchers into seeing arguably the two greatest TV shows in existance).

I will most likely have to send my dear amp back to Montreal for repairs. This makes me sad, and means I will probably wind up renting a Fender Blues Jr or something for the duration she is gone. I think it's a wiring problem.

I'm actually quite proud of myself. I made a sort of resolution, that is, to try and start fresh with school and certain facets of my personal life. So far, the school bit has been going well, as I've been to all but one class, and haven't fallen asleep in any of them. I also seem to have a renewed sense of energy that I didnt have before.

Gah

Why, after taking the night off to rest, am I even sicker? Seriously, I dont get sick, yet here I am popping coldfx, tylenol for Cold and every other motherfucking drug i can think of to numb the throbbing in my head. AAAAAAAHHHH

Hallucinatin'

I wouldn't normally blog this type of thing, but I find it so utterly bizzare that I want to, so I am. I've been sick for a couple of days, and whatever the hell it is that I have has been really disrupting my sleep patterns. It's almost like when I go to bed, my mind gets kicked into overdrive. For a few nights, it was just similar to having ADD (i suppose), but last night was very different.

I guess the best way to describe it was a series of conversations occuring simultaneously, and all on the same topic. It wasn't a bunch of collective voices all saying things, but instead very specific conversations between individuals, and they all seemed to be about the same thing. I recognized some of the voices, but some were completely foriegn to me.

What was equally strange was that the conversations were actually physically manifested in some sort of 3d construction that I could see in my head. I think it looked like a tree. There seemed to be two central sort of "hubs", where all the conversations were rooted in, and than each individual discussion was manifested in a sort of "branch" that seemed to run between the two hubs. These branches also seemed to be of different heights - the ones closer to the "top" of the tree, or whatever the hell it was, were clearer to me, whereas there were branches farther away from me that I couldn't hear at all.

Ok, I imagine at this point I have probably freaked you out, but I swear I'm fine. You forget, this is coming from the man who once, in a fever induced hallucinogenic state, mistook his mother for Jesus, so this is nothing. However, it did grant me a strange sense of resolve, for the first time ever, it was like what I needed to do was spelt out plainly to me, and it was quite helpful.