Down

I hate feeling down, yet I seem to be stuck in this pattern of quazi-depression. I seem to only be able to get to a certian level or happiness/distraction/drunkenness, and then I fall backwards. Its like one step forwards, two back repeated infinitely.

I think part of the problem is that for some reason I've been very antisocial lately. What annoys me is that I dont want to be antisocial, it just kind of happens. Its also extremely frustrating, Im finally at a point where I both want to, and am capable of going out and doing things, yet for whatever reason I'm not. All I know is that I want to break this pattern, I just dont know how.